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How are you and Marlena doing? How is the smartest three year old in the world doing?" I'm working too many hours, Marlena is working too many hours and Austin is getting smarter every minute. Now, what the hell is going on between you and mom?" Not sure what you're talking about?" Dad, dammit, be straight with me. I called Mom and she said she's living in Chicago and you and her have split up. I tried to get her to admit that she was putting me on. But she just got strange on me and said it was no joke. You two are living in separate cities and working on a divorce. Am I going crazy? I thought there was a law against getting a divorce when a couple has been married as long as you two." You're not going crazy, Peter. Your mother has filed for divorce and I signed the papers to give her the divorce. She's moved to Chicago, cleaned out all her stuff from our house and told me to sell it and split the proceeds with her." What the hell is in Chicago, and did either one of you happen to. The application process of the base color alone tookSasha twenty minutes. With the colorant on and the timer ticking awaySasha had Tiffany pierce both my ears three times. I was in shock. Sashahadn't said a word when suddenly Tiffany just appeared and said, "Readyfor some earrings?"Sasha said, "Absolutely, how about three in each?"With these words Tiffany loaded the piercing gun six different times andgave me six different holes in my ears, complete with starter studs asthey called them. Tiffany told me I would have to wait a while before Icould wear big hoops or dangly earrings. 'Great,' I thought, 'just what I want to look forward to.'As the timer ticked away and as every minute passed sealed my fate to bea brunette more Sasha waxed both my eyebrows into an ultra femininearch. The process, I am sure, would have been extremely painful had itnot been for the nerve agent coursing through my body. All I could dowas stare blankly into the mirror as slowly but surely my once.
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